Bishop: Wow, that was completely low-budget.
Actress: Way to dress up for the part, buddy…
Bishop: I think it was shot on video and features about 40 seconds of footage that’s cut together and repeated over and over. His wardrobe is just PART of the problem.
Actress: He looks like he slept in his clothes… Actually, scrap that, he looks like he hasn’t slept for a decade.
Bishop: Ha! That’s never more apparent than when he attempts to dance.
Bishop: They keep cutting back to that shot of him on the boardwalk… Extending your arms and wiggling your wrists does NOT count as a dance move.
Actress: Oh yeah, he’s got that sleep-deprived delirium. Utterly without rhythm…
Actress: HAH! And slurring into the microphone is NOT singing!
Bishop: This guy just half-assed every step of the way… except the shot at the end, which was his WHOLE ass.
Actress: That was pure class. I was hanging to see his ass. Why is this clip making me rhyme?
Bishop: Nicely done
Actress: I like how he keeps emerging from that changing cubicle, like he’s modelling the outfit of all time. Wtf?
Bishop: In his own mind it IS the outfit of all time. This guy clearly has a nasty case of Thinkyourecoolitis
Actress: And what a surprise he’s alone on the dancefloor…
Bishop: Yes, that club is completely barren. His hand wiggling won’t win him any friends tonight, apparently
Actress: (Note for the reader: This song is called RITUAL DE AMOR, by CHIKO 10, and inexplicably it was a HUGE hit in Spain…)
Actress: I fear that I’m going to be “singing”, “Danzzzaaa Danzaaa” in my sleep now… It really is disturbingly catchy, in that Eurotrash novelty song kind of way…
Bishop: Yes! Eerily catchy…
Bishop: I feel I can relate to the lyrics during the chorus… “Ba da da da daaa, ba da da da da da”… Who hasn’t been THERE? It’s universal.
Actress: Indeed. Danzaaaaa danzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…. oh, shit.
Actress: It’s stuck now.
Bishop: Sorry. You’ll never get it out.
Actress: Obviously nobody’s ever told him that he really oughtn’t be on camera, in any sense. Do you think we should write to him? To save him from himself (read: and us), you know….
Bishop: I think he would appreciate that. You’re right, he’s completely unable to see himself. He’s really really happy and he sounds and looks like crap.
Actress: I think I’m off tequila for life…
Bishop: “Dear Mr. 10: You need to stop pretending to be a musician. For the good of humanity and our ears…”
Actress: You have such a way with words, baby…
Bishop: Thanks, sweetheart. And don’t worry: tequila could never make you act as embarrassingly as this guy.
Actress: Yes, and it will never make me wear sunglasses on a cord around my neck. Thank God.
October 22, 2007...2:29 pm
Dance Fools Dance! vol. III
Jump to Comments
8 Comments
October 22, 2007 at 5:27 pm
That has to be the scariest/funniest/most disgusting thing I have seen in a long time. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
October 22, 2007 at 5:44 pm
kelidr – Another satisfied customer.
Thanks for the visit and we wholeheartedly apologize for Chiko 10. Please visit again when something less repulsive is featured prominently.
- Bishop
October 22, 2007 at 11:27 pm
cool!!
October 23, 2007 at 4:32 am
October 23, 2007 at 2:08 pm
coollikeme – Thanks.
Vimal – Tell us how you really feel. Thanks for the visit, btw.
- Bishop
October 25, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Oh damn, I remember that style & haven’t seen it for 30 years. Hope it’s another 30, & by then I’ll be senile & it won’t bother me!
October 26, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Style? Did somebody say style? What is this “style” you speak of? I am no spring chicken and I do not remember any such clothing or dancing being anything resembling “style”…
Hmm… Maybe I’ve led a sheltered life…
Bring on senility!
~ Actress
November 12, 2007 at 4:28 pm
[...] Actress: Is that John Belushi? Bishop: *gasp!* Belushi! Bishop: Snap. Actress: I don’t think Belushi ever wore white pants. Bishop: No, this is clearly some sort of tropical Belushi. Actress: This is like Belushi on holiday in Imperial Singapore. Bishop: I think he faked his own death and hid out in the Hawaiin Islands after changing his name to Jose Angel. Actress: His shoes are pretty sharp, apart from the socks… and the baby poo brown coloured shoes. Bishop: Yeah, and he really wants you to know how sharp they are, he’s displaying them quite prominently. Actress: He’s got a pretty flash digital watch, too. He must have been making a mint. I think this “career” is a cover for his decadent drug lord lifestyle. Bishop: Ha ha! Yes, he’s clearly a cocaine-lord on par with Pablo Escabar. The clothes fit, after all. Actress: I am taken with what is written at the bottom of the cover, “Madre Soy Christiano Homosexual”. Translated: “Mother I am Christiano Homosexual”. Maybe it wasn’t drugs he was enjoying… Bishop: Hey, I didn’t need a translator to tell that “homosexual” is Spanish for “homosexual” Bishop: Points for me! I’m so smart, aren’t I? Actress: Oh, you are, baby. That’s why I love you. I think this album is his coming out letter to his mother… Bishop: I think you’re right… and that’s deeply concerting for some reason. Bishop: I believe he’s acknowledging that he’s a gay Christian. Hey, more power to him, but is this album really the best way to tell your mom? Actress: It’s a little public, I’d have thought… but who am I to judge? Bishop: I think a face-to-face would feel more honest than a collection of spicy latin dance grooves? Actress: I want to see one of his music videos. Bishop: It might be like a chubbier version of Gloria Estefan Actress: Or maybe, this guy…….. [...]