Bishop: Oh. my. god. I have NEVER EVER in my life seen anyone who was more ill-equipped to rock out than this guy.
Actress: I think his mother has been asking “where’s wally?” for some time, judging by his effusive greeting.
Bishop: If “effusive” means “bat shit crazy” I would have to agree.
Actress: Oh, he’s just happy.. Will you begruge Wally some happiness? Look, how could you when his tongue is hanging sideways from his mouth like that?
Bishop: Yeah, we’ll let him have a good time. I have to say, though, I can’t imagine this guy being terribly creative if that’s the best album title he can come up with.
Actress: Hah! I’d like to hear his version of “1913 Massacre”. Then again, “Don’t Send My Mother to Prison” could be a corker, and the answer to all our questions…
Bishop: Yes, there’s some skeletons in this guy’s closet, I think.
Bishop: Why isn’t he pictured playing the guitar, as is the norm for musicians? He looks like he’s dropping it and leaving it.
Actress: Wally by name, wally by nature…
Bishop: I think he wants to give his mom a big high-five. The high-five is not dead for Wally Whyton.
Actress: Well, wouldn’t you if your mother was going to prison? Err… hang on… that’s not what I meant…
Bishop: Wha’?
Actress: Nevermind. I’ll bet he does a wicked cover of “Greenback Dollar”. I dig that song.
Bishop: I wouldn’t trust him to cover “Hot Cross Buns”. Look at how awkwardly he’s holding that guitar.
Bishop: I’m beginning to think Wally isn’t really a musician at all! This is all too awkward and wrong. Just look at him! He’s more like some guy who wandered into someone else’s photo shoot.
Actress: It’s folk, baby. Folk musicians are a special breed all of their own. Skivvies and corduroy and all.
Bishop: I should have known… explains the 12-string.
Actress: Indeed. Will you wear a skivvy for me? Fawn coloured pants would be a bonus…
Bishop: Absolutely! Who could have guessed this of all album covers would have inspired romantic requests?
Actress: You’re so adventurous. I love you. *kisses*
10 Comments
October 29, 2007 at 6:59 pm
that’s clearly not a guitar….its a weapon of some sort….look at the awkward lie of that guitar strap…it doesn’t fall like normal relaxed leather….bishop and actresss, I suggest you get the f*** away from that album…..just a suggestion though
October 29, 2007 at 7:17 pm
Oh hell, this explains it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Whyton
He was English
October 29, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Indeed. “Very photogenic.”
October 30, 2007 at 5:11 am
Do you play an instrument?
Just curious.
October 30, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Never mind the mother going to prison, it’s the “ballad of the bol weavil” that really intrigues me. I saw a bol weavil once…we were microwaving a piece of stale bread, and the weavil dropped out and tried to crawl away. Resilient little bastard…
October 30, 2007 at 3:33 pm
proudlu – Thankyou indeed for the suggestion. I have already taken steps to ensure anonymity and I spent this afternoon refreshing my jazzercize skills. There’s a lot to be said for the ol’ kick ball-change, you know…
Karen – Holy crap. Wally was quite the personality! And a photogenic personality to boot! Bless… I’m glad I didn’t know that before we conducted our “review”, er slash-and-burn of his obviously highly respected recording career, not to mention his threads. Speaking of which, WHERE is his cardigan??
Bram – You got it…
Vimal – Our esteemed Bishop is quite the axe hero, and he’s also very fond of the bass guitar. As for myself, I pretend to play guitar, badly and am trained in classical piano… *yawn* I also excelled at the recorder.
artaban – I was wondering about the “Ballad of the Bol Weavil”, too. Where I come from, we just call a weavil a weavil, so I was thinking that maybe a bol weavil was perhaps not a noun at all, but a verb, describing a long and lonely road… or some such cliched malarky. However, knowing what I know about Wally after clicking on the link in the comment Karen posted, I can see I was quite mislead…. and now I just feel sick thinking about weavils in bread. Cheers.
~ Actress
November 1, 2007 at 3:01 am
What kind of groupies would Wally have with an album titled, “It’s Me, Mum!”?
November 1, 2007 at 6:20 am
mooonbeam – I’m thinking these two, for starters…
~ Actress
November 1, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Yer killin’ me…
November 2, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Better I get in before Wally and his lethal weapon….
Proudlu clued us in. We owe him thanks.
Better to be killed with cheese than a guitar strap, don’t you think?