Plastique Fantastique vol. XIX

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Bishop: This is a brilliant concept. I think they should make an ongoing tv series out of this.
Actress: You could be onto something there. I ayam filled with the POWER!!!
Bishop:
He fights against the powers of Satan… using karate!!
Actress: Busting through concrete has to be handy as a preacher, you have to admit.
Bishop: It’s a skill ALL preachers should learn! Although he doesn’t seem to be having a good time of it. Most karate experts make it look so easy. I actually think he broke something.
Actress: His pinky looks a bit wonky….
Bishop: Yeah, he’s not doing too well. Upon first glance, I mistakingly thought he had smashed a stack of Bibles. I guess that doesn’t make much sense, does it?
Actress: Hmm.. no, not a lot of sense. Although in my experience…
Actress:
Something tells me he’s not actually Asian.
Bishop: “Crain” isn’t Asian? Next you’ll tell me that “MacGregor” isn’t Kenyan.
Actress: I swear he’s made up to look Asian. I mean, he could be half cast, but…..
Bishop: Yeah, he’s trying his damndest. Talk about playing to stereotype. Jesus, they even have the subtitle set in “Chinese” font style.
Actress: Because God would WANT you to bust through 6 blocks of concrete. I can see that prayer paying off in front of my very eyes.
Bishop: Right. It’s God’s will that you smash concrete blocks. Obviously.
Bishop: I have to say: God’s power doesn’t look so impressive. I mean, you’d think he’d be a little more confident in his block-smashing if he were really charged with the power of God. That pained expression on his face communicates to me that he was rushed to the emergency room as soon as this picture was snapped.
Actress: Not forgetting the wonky finger for a second, I do have to wonder what is on this record? Obvoiusly Mike Crain speaking of God’s power, but by the looks of this cover, I’m not entirely sure he’s someone I’d be taking seriously…. but then again, he does have that Beatlesque haircut….
Bishop: He could be performing on the Ed Sullivan Show with that hairdo.
Bishop: I’m still trying to determine the connection between martial arts and preaching. Does one help the other? We may never know.
Actress: Conflicting philosophies, I would have thought, but you can never know…
Bishop:
The truth is that these blocks are fake and pre-broken. I just refuse to allow that this guy is a black belt. It can’t be.
Actress:
I want to see Mike in action. Can we visit his church? Pretty please? I just want to see him break the blocks in person. Mike has the charisma of a rock star to me now. I’m attracted to him.
Bishop: If we went to his church and he didn’t break blocks, it would be the most disappointing thing ever. And please don’t make me fight Mike Crain for your love. I will embarrass this guy so thoroughly, it will be shameful.
Actress: After your dessimation of Satan, the Spaghetti Monster and all the rest, I wouldn’t dare. You don’t need violence to have my victory, my love….
Bishop: C’mere, you… *kisses*

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9 Comments

Filed under Plastique Fantastique

9 responses to “Plastique Fantastique vol. XIX

  1. awaywiththefairies

    Not to be anal or anything, but it’s actually Karateist, not Karatist…

    Apart from that though, I’d love to know how he combines a church sermon with smashing blocks of concrete. Is he trying to say that it’s the power of God, or is he smashing them for added effect during the more hell and brimstone type sermons? Interesting indeed… Ooh, Bishop, you are not afraid to fight for your honour. I like that in a man! You’re a lucky girl, Actress. ;-)

  2. I’ll bet he wears Hai Karate aftershave.

  3. K

    For some reason, the spelling of “am” as “ayam” just cracked me up. It induced visions of an Asian Kenneth Copeland dancing in my head.

  4. Obviously his sermons must be some kind of snake-oil deal, using the “karate” to impress and lure people, then actually giving the sermon in between “stunts.”

  5. Merry Christmas

    Still waiting for an opening here so I can join in this madness!

  6. K

    You’ve given up on your adoring public, haven’t you? You hate us. :(

  7. Aww, darn. Shall I give you guys more tips and kitschy pics?

  8. They’re probably out doing some top secret sexycoolsuperspy mission.

  9. AHAHA FUNNY!!
    bishop, i’m your number one fan. do me anytime, baby :)

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