Plastique Fantastique vol. I

Actress: Hello Mr Blue!
Bishop: Yikes. Um… What the?
Actress: It’s Orion, didn’t you know?
Bishop: THE Orion?
Actress: Yes, he is a star, after all. Although, he might be kidding himself if he thinks he’s a constellation…
Bishop: His “costume” looks one of those masks you cut out of a paper plate when you’re in kindergarten
Actress: He’s been reborn. Are we in the presence of a cosmic miracle?
Bishop: Reborn as what? I can’t figure out what look he’s going for… It’s like part KISS and part Pat Boone.
Actress: Hah! I think he’s auditioning for the Venice Carnival. They are fond of such masks and blue, come to think of it. But somehow, I don’t think his outfit is going to cut it.
Bishop: No, the outfit won’t work at all. He’s like a cheesy, country-western version of Cirque du Soleil.
Actress: Why is he hiding??
Bishop: I think he’s so ashamed of the music, he has to cobble together a ridiculous disguise as a means of hiding.
Actress: Yes, that side buttoning on his trousers was a bad idea. I think he should fire his stylist.
Bishop: I think he already fired her.
Actress: I would hide if I had a haircut like that…
Bishop: It’s not a good style, no. I have to give him credits for camouflage, though.
Bishop: He has a miraculous ability to blend into his surroundings like a human chameleon.
: He’s very macho, or at least trying to be as much as he can with that hair. I think he’s going for the Phantom of the Opera air of mystery, probably with good reason…
Actress: He’s a superhero!
Bishop: He’s a really lame superhero…
Actress: No cape…
Bishop: He’s like your dad trying to be a superhero for your birthday party if he couldn’t hire the local Spider-Man guy. “See, Billy… it’s me, Dad-Man! I’m here to fight crime and wish YOU a Happy Birthday!” Twenty years later, it’s therapy for poor Billy.
Actress: “Yes, kiddies, Superman couldn’t make it, so we have…. Orion! He’s been reborn, you know…”
Bishop: There’s actually a comic book character called Orion. Whoever this guy is, he might get sued.
Actress: He really should be sued by humanity for crimes against fashion and hair. Check out the size of his watch.
Bishop: His watch is huge, and it has to be that way, because he’s got to be places on time. He’s busy, Orion is.
Actress: What do you think is on this record?
Bishop: I’m afraid to guess. I’ll just assume it’s psychedelic country, based on the cover.
Actress: Yup, that sounds about right.



Filed under Plastique Fantastique

3 responses to “Plastique Fantastique vol. I

  1. Pingback: Ad Nauseam vol. I « SexyCoolSuperSpy

  2. rberkes

    oh, this one is hilarious … like the lone ranger trying out for the blue man group. now i’m off to search for his mp3’s, theres gotta be some out there somewhere!

  3. Hah! What a great analogy…

    Let us know if you find anything, please! I’m waiting with baited breath… (what does that mean, anyway?)

    ~ The Actress

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