Plastique Fantastique vol. IV

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Actress: Oh, TOUCH ME……
Bishop: Can I?
Actress: Please do…
Bishop: Oh, you don’t have to ask…
Actress: As long as you wear a red shirt with extended lapels. It turns me on.
Bishop: How about more chest hair than Chewbacca? Does that do anything for you? Because I’m hoping the answer is “No”.
Actress: Ok, you need to stop this right now… I’m getting flustered.
Bishop: This particular artist has NO name…
Actress: So, I’ve noticed… and what is THAT feeling, exactly?
Bishop: For me? Nausea.
Actress: I came prepared and took some seasickness medication before I arrived. But I do have to say that a man with multiple chunky rings really leaves me hot and bothered. I think you need to move over right now. There’s a new stud in town….
Bishop: I will fight Johnny Chest-Hair for your love and I’ll win.
Actress: Oh, well now you’ve beaten a Spaghetti Monster and Satan. If you’re not too worn out, I think you might be in with a chance..
Bishop: You’re going down, you smirking, no-name-having feeling-toucher!
Actress: What is on this record?
Bishop: I’m guessing death metal.
Actress: I’m guessing you’re right. It’s the wonky eye. Sign of the devil, you know…
Bishop: Er, wait… did I say death metal? I meant gentle and sensitive soft-rock, because that’s ALL ANYBODY LISTENED TO BACK THEN! If I had a nickel for every gently-sung 70’s mood ballad, I’d be a trillionaire.
Actress: Did you notice he is standing in a forest?
Bishop: Yes! Is it a horrible cliche, or is Johnny Huge-Collar trying to tell us something?
Actress: No, but I am noticing a disturbing trend with these album covers…
Actress: Well, of course he’s telling us something… TOUCH THAT FEELING. God.
Bishop: It’s more of a command than a suggestion. Touch that feeling… now!
Actress: He could be Ridge Forrester’s long lost brother. Or doppelganger, even.
Bishop: If there’s one person who should never be doppleganged, it’s Ridge Forrester…
Actress: Tell him that…

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3 Comments

Filed under Plastique Fantastique

3 responses to “Plastique Fantastique vol. IV

  1. “more chest hair than Chewbacca.” haha!!!

  2. dogslol – The sad part is, it’s completely true. Mr. Feeling has a BHP (body hair percentage) of 85%, whereas Chewie is clocking in at only 84.3%.

    Amazing, no?

    – Bishop

  3. Pingback: “Actress: The higher your hair, the closer you are to Jesus. Every cult has a kicker…” « Link En Fuego

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