Bishop: Wow, that was completely low-budget.
Actress: Way to dress up for the part, buddy…
Bishop: I think it was shot on video and features about 40 seconds of footage that’s cut together and repeated over and over. His wardrobe is just PART of the problem.
Actress: He looks like he slept in his clothes… Actually, scrap that, he looks like he hasn’t slept for a decade.
Bishop: Ha! That’s never more apparent than when he attempts to dance.
Bishop: They keep cutting back to that shot of him on the boardwalk… Extending your arms and wiggling your wrists does NOT count as a dance move.
Actress: Oh yeah, he’s got that sleep-deprived delirium. Utterly without rhythm…
Actress: HAH! And slurring into the microphone is NOT singing!
Bishop: This guy just half-assed every step of the way… except the shot at the end, which was his WHOLE ass.
Actress: That was pure class. I was hanging to see his ass. Why is this clip making me rhyme?
Bishop: Nicely done
Actress: I like how he keeps emerging from that changing cubicle, like he’s modelling the outfit of all time. Wtf?
Bishop: In his own mind it IS the outfit of all time. This guy clearly has a nasty case of Thinkyourecoolitis
Actress: And what a surprise he’s alone on the dancefloor…
Bishop: Yes, that club is completely barren. His hand wiggling won’t win him any friends tonight, apparently
Actress: (Note for the reader: This song is called RITUAL DE AMOR, by CHIKO 10, and inexplicably it was a HUGE hit in Spain…)
Actress: I fear that I’m going to be “singing”, “Danzzzaaa Danzaaa” in my sleep now… It really is disturbingly catchy, in that Eurotrash novelty song kind of way…
Bishop: Yes! Eerily catchy…
Bishop: I feel I can relate to the lyrics during the chorus… “Ba da da da daaa, ba da da da da da”… Who hasn’t been THERE? It’s universal.
Actress: Indeed. Danzaaaaa danzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…. oh, shit.
Actress: It’s stuck now.
Bishop: Sorry. You’ll never get it out.
Actress: Obviously nobody’s ever told him that he really oughtn’t be on camera, in any sense. Do you think we should write to him? To save him from himself (read: and us), you know….
Bishop: I think he would appreciate that. You’re right, he’s completely unable to see himself. He’s really really happy and he sounds and looks like crap.
Actress: I think I’m off tequila for life…
Bishop: “Dear Mr. 10: You need to stop pretending to be a musician. For the good of humanity and our ears…”
Actress: You have such a way with words, baby…
Bishop: Thanks, sweetheart. And don’t worry: tequila could never make you act as embarrassingly as this guy.
Actress: Yes, and it will never make me wear sunglasses on a cord around my neck. Thank God.