Actress: This is how my living room looked in the 60’s…. if I was alive in the 60’s.
Bishop: If we were to go back in time to the 60’s and become surrealist interior decorators, this would be our living room in the 60’s.
Actress: I was lying about this is how my living room looked, if it existed. This is horrible. What a mess. Although it has some pleasing elements…
Actress: You’re sweet to take my bait though, baby .. *wink*
Bishop: Hey, don’t mention it.
Bishop: My favorite part of this room is the door… it allows for speedy exit.
Actress: Door? There is a door? [peers closer]….
Bishop: Oh no… there’s no door? In that case, it’s not even a room… it’s a cell.
Actress: with big purple turds on the floor. I always wanted purple turds. They make me happy.
Bishop: Giant purple turds… they accentuate any room. I’d love to make fun of the objects in this room, but I have no idea what I’m looking at. Is this FURNITURE?
Actress: I think most of the decor, coloured orange, comes from my playroom, circa 1974… I was a bit behind the times…
Bishop: You’re right! I was just about to say that those plastic orange chairs remind me of the little baby table you have in your playroom. I picture myself sitting down at a table like that at the age of 4 and messing around with Play-Doh or action figures.
Actress: Yes! I used to like screwing the legs off the chairs.
Actress: Said the actress to the bishop…
Bishop: Oh, you’re too good! *kisses* I love it when you make double entendres.
Actress: *curtsies* Thank you, baby. I aim to please…
Bishop: So… the question remains… WHO is to be using this room and for WHAT purpose? Any guesses? Any at all?
Actress: I think it’s the living room on a spaceship. I know that’s what they want us to think, but I think it’s for REAL. What other environment could be so utterly cold?
Actress: The plants are a nice touch, though..
Actress: As completely 60’s/70’s as they are…
Bishop: It is. This was created by a cold, inhuman, alien sentience. In other words, it’s probably Scandanavian.
Actress: Indeed. I think you may be entirely correct. However, I’m still trying to work out what’s going on to the righ of the “picture” window…
Bishop: I’m still trying to work out ANY of it… describe what you’re looking at. We probably won’t crack the case, but I’ll take a look.
Actress: I can’t get past the purple turds, but did ANYONE on earth actually have a living space that remotely resembled this? If so, I’ve been hanging out in the wrong crowds…
Bishop: No, this is not the picture of a livable room, this is the picture of an art student losing his mind.
Actress: With plenty of flat surfaces to draw lines of… things on. Right.
Bishop: Yes. Let’s not ponder too long. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you.
Actress: I still want to sit on one of those turds. They look kinda comfy… Made for two, perhaps? *flutters eyelashes*
Bishop: I’ll join you then. Nothing’s more romantic than a giant, purple turd. Which sounds like the worst Valentine’s Day card ever. This is why I mustn’t work for Hallmark.
Actress: I think you’ll feel differently when we are sucked into that big purple hole….What I’m thinking about that is not fit for public consumption, I assure you…
Bishop: C’mere you…