Plastique Fantastique vol. XI


Bishop: Oh. my. god. I have NEVER EVER in my life seen anyone who was more ill-equipped to rock out than this guy.
Actress: I think his mother has been asking “where’s wally?” for some time, judging by his effusive greeting.
Bishop: If “effusive” means “bat shit crazy” I would have to agree.
Actress: Oh, he’s just happy.. Will you begruge Wally some happiness? Look, how could you when his tongue is hanging sideways from his mouth like that?
Bishop: Yeah, we’ll let him have a good time. I have to say, though, I can’t imagine this guy being terribly creative if that’s the best album title he can come up with.
Actress: Hah! I’d like to hear his version of “1913 Massacre”. Then again, “Don’t Send My Mother to Prison” could be a corker, and the answer to all our questions…
Bishop: Yes, there’s some skeletons in this guy’s closet, I think.
Bishop: Why isn’t he pictured playing the guitar, as is the norm for musicians? He looks like he’s dropping it and leaving it.
Actress: Wally by name, wally by nature…
Bishop: I think he wants to give his mom a big high-five. The high-five is not dead for Wally Whyton.
Actress: Well, wouldn’t you if your mother was going to prison? Err… hang on… that’s not what I meant…
Bishop: Wha’?
Actress: Nevermind. I’ll bet he does a wicked cover of “Greenback Dollar”. I dig that song.
Bishop: I wouldn’t trust him to cover “Hot Cross Buns”. Look at how awkwardly he’s holding that guitar.
Bishop: I’m beginning to think Wally isn’t really a musician at all! This is all too awkward and wrong. Just look at him! He’s more like some guy who wandered into someone else’s photo shoot.
Actress: It’s folk, baby. Folk musicians are a special breed all of their own. Skivvies and corduroy and all.
Bishop: I should have known… explains the 12-string.
Actress: Indeed. Will you wear a skivvy for me? Fawn coloured pants would be a bonus…
Bishop: Absolutely! Who could have guessed this of all album covers would have inspired romantic requests?
Actress: You’re so adventurous. I love you. *kisses*



Filed under Plastique Fantastique

10 responses to “Plastique Fantastique vol. XI

  1. proudlu

    that’s clearly not a guitar….its a weapon of some sort….look at the awkward lie of that guitar strap…it doesn’t fall like normal relaxed leather….bishop and actresss, I suggest you get the f*** away from that album…..just a suggestion though

  2. Karen

    Oh hell, this explains it:

    He was English

  3. Indeed. “Very photogenic.”

  4. Do you play an instrument?

    Just curious.

  5. Never mind the mother going to prison, it’s the “ballad of the bol weavil” that really intrigues me. I saw a bol weavil once…we were microwaving a piece of stale bread, and the weavil dropped out and tried to crawl away. Resilient little bastard…

  6. proudlu – Thankyou indeed for the suggestion. I have already taken steps to ensure anonymity and I spent this afternoon refreshing my jazzercize skills. There’s a lot to be said for the ol’ kick ball-change, you know…

    Karen – Holy crap. Wally was quite the personality! And a photogenic personality to boot! Bless… I’m glad I didn’t know that before we conducted our “review”, er slash-and-burn of his obviously highly respected recording career, not to mention his threads. Speaking of which, WHERE is his cardigan??

    Bram – You got it… πŸ˜‰

    Vimal – Our esteemed Bishop is quite the axe hero, and he’s also very fond of the bass guitar. As for myself, I pretend to play guitar, badly and am trained in classical piano… *yawn* I also excelled at the recorder.

    artaban – I was wondering about the “Ballad of the Bol Weavil”, too. Where I come from, we just call a weavil a weavil, so I was thinking that maybe a bol weavil was perhaps not a noun at all, but a verb, describing a long and lonely road… or some such cliched malarky. However, knowing what I know about Wally after clicking on the link in the comment Karen posted, I can see I was quite mislead…. and now I just feel sick thinking about weavils in bread. Cheers. πŸ˜‰

    ~ Actress

  7. What kind of groupies would Wally have with an album titled, “It’s Me, Mum!”?

  8. mooonbeam – I’m thinking these two, for starters…

    ~ Actress

  9. Better I get in before Wally and his lethal weapon….

    Proudlu clued us in. We owe him thanks.

    Better to be killed with cheese than a guitar strap, don’t you think?

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