Far-Out Flicks vol. VI

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Bishop: The tagline focuses on the seven savage punks, but I’m wondering about the giantress off to the side… do you see her? If you squint, you can just barely make her out.
Actress: *squints* Oh, yeah.
Bishop: Incredible. Neither the title nor the tagline acknowledges her. Hello?? She’s a GIANT!! Not to mention the focal point of the poster.
Actress: Hello? We have SEVEN SAVAGE PUNKS on a BINGE!
Actress: I think she’s about to thump them all dead like cockroaches under her giant fists.
Bishop: She could crush them if she felt like it. Oh, she’ll show them a binge of violence, alright.
Bishop: Did you know that “seven savage punks” was in the original draft of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”? It’s true.
Actress: Wow, really? There you go again… educamacating me like you do. I love you, baby *kisses*
Bishop: I love you, darling. *kisses*
Bishop: With a tagline like that, this better be a rip-snorting fight movie. Why do I get the feeling it fails to live up to the promise?
Actress: Possibly because of the potential for fist thumping, but really I think this is some kind of spin-off, telling the background story of the first young woman to escape from Land of the Giants. And she is cool, you know… mainly because she’s that freaking tall that the air drops degrees every time she stands up.
Bishop: Amazing. I imagine it’s hard to shop, being her.
Actress: And I thought I had problems. How is it that all those men are frozen in almost exactly the same pose?
Bishop: Good question… It’s baffling…
Actress: They don’t look crazy to me, they look like automatons, programmed to beat people up in sync.
Bishop: Choreographed fighting! Nooo! Nightmares of West Side Story…
Actress: Don’t start me singing… You’ll be sorry you mentioned that
Bishop: Question: If you were that tall and your hoo-ha were hovering over the head of seven savage punks, would you wear a skirt? Probably not the best choice, I imagine.
Actress: Uh, nice call. No. No, I wouldn’t wear a skirt. I’d be wearing very demure slacks. No culottes, you understand, or stretch jeans for fear of giant camel toe… demure slacks. Yes.
Bishop: Ha ha… Camel toe. Comedy goldmine. Good one, honey.
Actress: GIANT camel toe, no less. It can’t be good. Unless….
Bishop: Well, not for you
Actress: What do you mean, not for me? What’s wrong with my camel toe?!
Bishop: Nothing. Just seems a bit revealing with all those savage punks around. I mean, savage punks are not gentlemen.. hence the “savage punks” tag.
Actress: I wouldn’t want to block their light….
Bishop: You know who’s NOT shy? Giant-lady. It just occurred to me that she’s almost definitely mooning people.
Actress: Maybe that’s her M.O. All she has to do is swivel and I’m sure those savage punks would stop fighting immediately.
Bishop: Despite their weekend binge of violence.
Actress: A weekend binge of violence. I’d rather have a weekend binge of sex. Or alcohol. Or food. Call me old fashioned.
Bishop: Hey, how about all three? I’ll just be old fashioned right with you.
Actress: Sounds better than good to me, baby. Let’s get fashioned in an old timey way.

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2 Comments

Filed under Far-Out Flicks

2 responses to “Far-Out Flicks vol. VI

  1. K

    Is it just me, or are there actually *nine* savage punks on that poster? Also, are the extra two people the “cool” while the savages are the “crazy”? I’m confused…

  2. K – You’re right. There are indeed 9. I was too busy laughing at the absurdity of it all to stop and count.

    And I can’t spot any differences between them… if there’s a distinct group of seven savage punks that has been joined by two non-punks, I’m not seeing it.

    To be honest, I think this poster has much, much more “crazy” than “cool”… the scales are clearly tipped.

    Thanks for the visit and come back any time. 🙂

    – Bishop

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