Actress: Such a good looking bunch of fellows are Black Sabbath, that we need DUAL images of their lustrous locks. I’m excited already.
Bishop: Hey, mirrors don’t work like that. I should be thankful. If this mirror reflected accurately, we’d have to see their asses.
Actress: Wow, you’re right. Instead we get two images of those lovely red….. longjohns?
Bishop: I was just about to ask about those. What are they? Are those panythose? Fess up, Bill.
Actress: Looks like someone didn’t wake him up in time for the photoshoot. At least they brushed his hair nice…
Bishop: They all look a bit inconvenienced. I get the feeling they don’t want to be there. Especially Tony. Tony is tired. He must sit.
Actress: Poor Tony. He looks like he’d rather be in an Ashram. All except Ozzy. He’s platform and crucifix ready, he is. Is that Ozzy?
Bishop: Yes, it’s Ozzy… it has to be… if it were Dio, he’d be three feet shorter.
Actress: Well, they are platforms.
Bishop: Tony’s meditation session was clearly interrupted.
Actress: Much like Bill’s sleep. Could he possibly look MORE like he just rolled out of bed? And not even with a beautiful woman, or he wouldn’t be wearing those pants.
Bishop: Ha ha. Take that, Bill. He’s sleepy and he’s also creeping us out with those pants.
Bishop: I like to imagine the giant mirror has snuck up behind them and they’re completely unaware. They seem to have no idea that a magical mirror has been placed behind them.
Actress: Indeed. Those white pants on the left are making me think of Christopher Cross for some reason. I think it’s something to do with sailing. And Ozzy is creeping me out with his kaftan.
Actress: In fact, if you removed the moustache, it could be a photo from a JC Penney’s catalogue from the 70’s… womenswear.
Bishop: Hey! Good point. Wow, disturbing. What if all the metal kids heard you bashing one of their most iconic bands? These guys invented heavy power chord-driven rock! They wrote songs about Satan! Recognize!
Actress: And robots.
Actress: They were ahead of their time, they were. Sort of… What’s your favourite Black Sabbath song?
Bishop: How could I pick just one? The bassline for “NIB” is so tasty, I might have to go with it
Actress: Oh, bugger off you… Boys always get rawk geeky about Sabbath and Led Zeppelin.
Bishop: Did you know that any time you play the main bass part for “NIB” someone within earshot will go “Oh yeah!” over the last two notes? It’s true! It’s like Pavlov’s dog. No one can resist.
Actress: I’ll take your word for it. I may even fall for that one myself. That said, I can probably only name a handful of Black Sabbath songs, and the one I like best out of those, is Iron Man. Well worn, but it sounded good in the car when I was waving at cows in paddocks the other day…
Bishop: “Iron Man” is outstanding cow-waving music. And what a crazy solo.
Actress: Oh, yes. The cows loved it. They might have even waved back, if I was wearing that kaftan…