Ad Nauseam vol. XI

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Bishop: Wow… am I seeing things or do these people live with a horse in the kitchen?
Actress: No, you’re not wrong. I thought stable doors indoors were a relic from the 19th century.
Bishop: “Clean up after yourself! Were you raised in a barn?!?”
Actress: That horse could take off at any moment and gallop through the house, spilling organic vegetables and marking that lovely green paint with his poo and hoof marks at any moment. My mother would have a fit.
Bishop: Speaking of poo… how do they put up with the smell? It’s in their kitchen ferchrissake.
Actress: One must wonder a lot of things about this arrangement…
Bishop: You know what makes me sad? That guy’s paying more attention to the horse than his wife. That’s not right and I don’t care how rural you are.
Actress: You have to take into account that the lady of the house, either has a nasty foot disease, or lives in an imaginary world where she walks around on tippy toe…
Bishop: Yeah, that doesn’t look comfortable.
Actress: I think he and the horse have a “special” relationship. They look close.
Bishop: Eek. I must wash my mind clean of those thoughts.
Actress: Who keeps bales of hay inside their house? I mean, it is a house… not a barn… clearly. Why else would it be featured as a fashionable 1974 interior?
Bishop: I don’t know… I mean how can Europeans look down their snoots at Americans when they’re living like this? For shame. NOW who’re the hillbillies?
Actress: Well, I don’t know about hillbillies…. Her hair is way too shiny.
Bishop: I feel sorry for anyone living in this house. It reminds me of the Great Depression, for some reason. Just horrible.
Actress: Yeah, I can see that. But what I see more, is a couple of barefoot, champagne bo-ho’s with an oppressive green ceiling.
Bishop: That ceiling is the greenest green that ever greened. You have to give them credit for that, at least
Actress: It was the 70’s after all… Ah, I remember that green well. I’m sure at least a couple of our readers can even name the shade…
Bishop: Well, it’s downright purdy, at any rate.
Actress: Yes… and well swept. The amount of hay debris that must be tramped through that kitchen…

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5 Comments

Filed under Ad Nauseam

5 responses to “Ad Nauseam vol. XI

  1. awaywiththefairies

    walking on your toes can be a sign of autism, aspergers syndrome etc. not being renowned for their affection towards people i think the poor bloke has resorted to the horse as his source of comfort. being the caring and concerned sort he is, he made a DIY project of adding a barn onto the kitchen, that way he can keep an eye on his wife while she busies herself in the kitchen.

  2. Good god, you are right! The diagnostic criteria for autism/aspergers had completely slipped my mind.

    I think she’s looking for some saucepans to bang together. Is that mean?

    If only there were more caring husbands like him in the world. I think a nice horsie poking it’s head through your kitchen window would be quite endearing….

    Hi there đŸ˜€

    ~ Actress

  3. Karen

    I think that green is avacado. Like the copper ‘fridge. Actually, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a gelding who’s lonely stick his head in the window & cry for attention. Not a kitchen window, though. They do attract flies.

  4. Karen – Is that avocado? I thought avocado was the slightly more pukey green… but I might be thinking of olive… Whatever it is, it’s giving me childhood flashbacks.

    I totally want a horse to stick his head through my window now. My cats just don’t cut it as far as cuteness overload goes…

    ~ Actress

  5. dajvid

    This is some kind of weird German-Swedtastic hybrid.

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