Actress: Someone call child protective services!!!!!
Bishop: Oh, no! That guy IS child protective services!!
Actress: That’s it. I give up. There is no hope for humanity.
Bishop: I think he’s a hero because he’s protecting that truck from the imminent danger of that snot-nosed kid. Look at how hard he’s going to hit that punk! He’ll teach kids everywhere a thing or two about messing with poor helpless trucks.
Actress: Oh god… I think you’re right. I had it all wrong. Look how terrified the driver is! His grill was very nearly dented!
Bishop: I’m just impressed by the cop’s wind-up. That’s quite a punching arm, I have to say.
Actress: Being a girly girl and not knowing a thing about punching, even I’d have to agree… He’s teaching her good! Little scamp…
Bishop: I enjoy the fact that they boast the “Famous Funnies” moniker with such pride. You can bet when you’re buying a Famous Funnies publication, you’ve got your hands on a quality piece of literature.
Actress: Yes, because this publication looks hilarious! I can barely contain myself…
Bishop: Ha ha! What could be funnier than imminent death? I’m laughing already.
Actress: Wait, is that a… a horse in the passenger side of the truck? Or is it a bull? Oh, it’s nothing… my bad. It would have added to the sheer comedic genius, if it was…
Bishop: Yeah. Although now that you’ve mentioned it, it’s really freaking me out… I mean, what the hell? What IS it? It looks like a giant brown blob… oh, it’s weirding me the hell out.
Actress: I don’t know, but I’m glad this comic only costs 10 cents. Any more and I might be looking for holes in the “NEW” moniker…
Bishop: Ha. Yeah, I really balk at paying more than a dime for anything.
Actress: So THAT’S why the Ghost Monster never arrived… *pout*
Bishop: Baby, dont worry… I promise we’ll get our new Ghost Monster… *kisses*
Bishop: I like the fact that the cover promises that the people in this comic were “chosen by this publication…” to be acclaimed. The people at Famous Funnies really like to toot their own horn. First they’re bragging about their brand name and now they’re deciding WHO is allowed to be considered a hero.
Actress: I think their motives are suspect.
Actress: I’m more interested you in that police uniform. Is it police? Do I sense a role playing theme in this blog? Either way, I’ll bet you can find it somewhere for a buck, and if so, Ghost Monster is history… *kisses*
Bishop: C’mere you…
Bishop: Is that… Nellie Olesen?
Actress: Oh, my…..
Bishop: On the left! It’s her!
Actress: She has that smug, self satisfied expression… Nice hairclips, girls. Kudos to you.
Bishop: Those hairclips are pretty obvious, aren’t they?
Bishop: Why are they dressed alike? Their parents put them up to this. No way in hell this was their idea.
Actress: I’m wondering how long those dresses are. If they were short, they’d be cute, but if they are, as I suspect, floor length, we have a dressmaker in the family…
Bishop: I agree… I’m suspecting floor length dresses. Super conservative.
Actress: Oh, but they have confidence.
Bishop: Yes, but only one of them has confidence. Otherwise the title would have been “We’ve Got Confidence”
Actress: Oh! You are so right. And we can see which one it is…
Bishop: Which one is it?
Actress: It’s Miss Nelly…
Bishop: Of course!
Actress: Then again, her sister looks like she could be the town bike, given half a chance… I think she has a secret life.
Bishop: Yeah… there’s something about her.
Actress: Miss Nelly has a cheekier look about her, but it’s a look that could easily swing towards the spinster from hell… I picture her as the crazy 60 year old unmarried woman with 15 cats.
Actress: Far out, the elder sister’s hair looks disturbingly like mine in the morning. I need a haircut. Or maybe I can borrow her hairclips…
Bishop: I’ll recommend no hairclips. How about you leave it like it is and just jump in bed with me?
Actress: Well, that’s another option. Far more tempting. Let me call my hairdresser to cancel first…
Actress: I like how they’ve tried to be really hip with the lettering (of course it wasn’t called “font” in those days, ahem). It matches their outfits and everything…
Actress: Now, somebody said it… “I’ve Got Confidence”. WHO said it? I think Mommy Dearest said it, that’s who… NOW REPEAT AFTER ME…
Bishop: The Stepford Babies have to learn their lines somehow.
Actress: Seriously, WHO dresses like their sibling at that age? It’s one thing for toddler twins…
Bishop: Again, I can sense from here they have a demented mother. I just KNOW it.
Actress: I also am so very intrigued, yet again, as to how so many of the covers of these Christian albums have people standing awkwardly in forests?
Bishop: That is, apparently, THE hot spot for communing with Jesus.
Actress: Yes, and I’ll bet they sound like a poor man’s version of the Moir Sisters…. and that’s saying something…
Bishop: Maybe it’s like a wi-fi internet connection… you’re more in-tune with Jesus if you go to certain hot spots, most of which involve standing in front a very placid and calm lake or forest.
Actress: Hah! Baby… You’ve cracked the nut, yet again…
Bishop: The Moir Sisters? More like the Lesse Sisters! ZING!
Bishop: Why are they leaning on a piece of wood? Was this taken at a lumber yard?
Actress: It’s padded. At least they’re well looked after, bless.
Bishop: We wouldn’t want the little musicians to get splinters
Actress: No, not when we’re listening in stereo….
Actress: Is that child CRYING??
Bishop: You’d think they’d find a more flattering shot than that.
Actress: Well, obviously they couldn’t afford to waste any shots on facial expressions… just look at the costumes!
Bishop: This takes “low budget” to a whole new level
Actress: Ok, ok, I know it’s children’s craft, but I never would have stood for that when I was a kid. Those children must be scarred to this very day.
Bishop: It’s basically the equivalent of dressing them up in potato sacks. And you’re damn right they’re scarred… 30 years on, and they openly burst into tears whenever the clerk at the grocery store asks “paper or plastic?”
Actress: Shoddy and poor, their parents and the publishers of this book ought to be ashamed.
Bishop: Yes, they ought to be.
Actress: Just look at the poor little mite. And what small boy wants to be a panda? I ask you… No wonder he’s crying…
Bishop: He doesn’t really look like a panda as much as a guy with a panda growing out of his stomach. Which I find disturbing. Not only are these costumes cheap and pretty crappy, they’re highly ambiguous. Tell me what the kid on the left is supposed to be….
Actress: That was my next question! WHAT is that? At first I was thinking, court jester… but there’s no sign of a hat, or tights…
Bishop: No, none. I thought maybe it was supposed to be a layer of feathering and the lad was going as a bird of some type… is he an owl?
Actress: Oh, a BIRD. Of course…I can totally see that. Ahem.
Bishop: A bird… maybe. I’m not too sure on that one. I think maybe he’s dressed as a stack of poorly-cut construction paper.
Actress: I was going to remark on the mad paper cutting skillz….
Bishop: Crazy, innit? Maybe it’s some sort of avant-garde fashion that’s just emerged from Paris. The only reason I’m laughing is because I don’t GET IT.
Actress: Me neither, honey….
Actress: All I can say is that don’t their parents know that you make kiddie costumes out of cardboard, crepe paper and ratty old clothes? Take this, for example:
Actress: And yes, that is me…. Laugh, go on!
Bishop: Aw, you’re too cute to laugh at. I do have to wonder what’s going on, though?
Actress: Well, this would be my point. I am accepting 2nd prize in a fancy dress competition aboard a cruise ship, aged 4. And what did it for me? Ratty old clothes, cardboard and crepe paper…
Actress: I still have that little red octopus, by the way…
Bishop: The red octopus given to you by a guy who’s dressed like Captain Stubing? That’s one to hang onto.
Actress: That kind of explains my facial expression. Even at that age, the guy scared the bejesus out of me…