Actress: Mad Mixers? Mad Hatter more like it. What the hell do you call that?
Bishop: Yeah, either Lipstick Girl has turned into a human lamp or that’s a really crappy hat.
Actress: Oddly enough, I have a sneaking suspicion it would win a prize at the Spring Racing Carnival.
Bishop: I like to imagine that she’s an 11 foot tall giantess and has her head stuck in a chandelier.
Actress: And a rather fetching lampshade it is. I’ve been looking for a lampshade just like it for ages… Bitch! Stole my bloody lampshade….
Bishop: But you weren’t planning on using it as headwear, though? Right?
Actress: Right, indeed. Nor was I planning on wearing Christmas baubles for earrings. I think she had an accident decorating the tree in the living room…
Bishop: Ha ha. You can’t see it, but she also has a giant star sitting on her head. It’s under the lampshade. The entire tree exploded.
Actress: That explains her facial expression…
Bishop: Women of a bygone era must have had sturdier earlobes. Look at how she can wear those shot-puts from her ears without any apparent pain…
Actress: On closer inspection, they look like clip-on earrings. My god. Speaking as a woman, there is nothing quite as painful as those clip-on’s that screw into your ear. I’m impressed. She’s one tough lady.
Bishop: Her ears are tough, anyway.
Bishop: I like the label this ad carries… It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Mixer (not world)
Actress: It must have been quite the turn of phrase in the day. If only Cover Girl still made ads like these. Not that you even notice the colour of her lips…
Bishop: The ad copy suggests insanity… in fact, so does the entire ad.
Actress: I like “they’re madly beautiful”. If only someone would tell me I’m madly beautiful.. (hint, hint)
Bishop: Aw, baby… you are madly, madly beautiful. And I’m madly, madly in love with you.
Actress: *sigh* You just made my day, baby. As you are so wont to do… Do you think it would help if I wore some Mad, Mad Mixers though? Or perhaps a lampshade on my head? We can all do with a bit of enhancement.
Bishop: You’re perfect as you are. Lampshades or not.