Actress: Geez, neighbours can be bastards, can’t they? “I told you I would keel you if you played any more of that Gordon Lightfoot music!!”
Bishop: It makes me wonder what neighborhood this is in… or country… or alternate dimension….
Actress: You mean you didn’t wield a machete at your neighbour today? I’m surprised.
Bishop: Are these two hunting one another? Is this like that Stephen King dealie where man is hunted like prey?
Actress: Either that, or they’re on a co-op, chopping bamboo to make way for the new yoga centre.
Bishop: That could very well be the case.
Actress: Although the mutually aggressive stance indicates otherwise…
Bishop: For the record, I never fight my neighbor with a machete… only a pair of rusty hedge-trimmers.
Actress: Oh, that’s alright then baby. I love you for your pacifism.
Bishop: Of course. Guess which one is the mayor…. I’m stumped.
Actress: And what the hell is on this record? A machete duel? Or a political debate?
Bishop: I wish mayoral debates were this exciting outside of Mexico.
Bishop: They’re DAMNED serious about municipal waterways and make no mistake!
Actress: Notice how the Mexican’s machete is rusty as hell, and the white guy’s looks like brand new, like he just moved into the neighbourhood and thought he ought to be suitably armed for the area. Home Depot to the rescue. I’ll bet his guitar is shitty though, if it is his guitar.
Bishop: I’m guessing neither play. It almost looks like the guitar got thrown in there as an after thought.
Actress: It has to be the white guy’s guitar. The other guy already has a hat.
Bishop: They almost forgot this was an album cover. Hell, I’M forgetting it’s an album cover.
Actress: Er, yeah… me too.
Bishop: As for what’s ON the record… I’m guessing it’s the aural version of human insanity.
Actress: Right up my alley. Let’s listen.
Bishop: I’ll crank up the turntable.
Bishop: The boomerangs aren’t scary until you factor in the little electrical trails that wrap around you like barbed wire. It’s almost as painful as Captain Boomerang’s taste in clothes.
Actress: I’m not sure if I’m more concerned by his girly flared jacket, or his Burger King headwear. It’s making me hungry…
Bishop: It creates the illusion that he’s working behind the counter, serving someone their Whopper with fries.
Actress: And if you dare to ask for no pickle, he’ll stun you with his wicked boomerang throwing skillz.
Bishop: Boomerangs aren’t so bad. Popular fiction is full of ninjas with traditional Japanese weapons and pirates with their cutlasses… I say let the Aussies represent.
Actress: If only he did represent Aussies. A milliion Aborigines are spinning in their graves, trying to match the mad skillz (can I use any other spelling?) of CAPTAIN BOOMERANG.
Bishop: Nah, it’s not a mockery, it’s a celebration. Three cheers for boomerangs.
Bishop: I’m amused by the Flash’s footwear. If you’re the fastest man alive, do cleats matter?
Actress: Not in the face of the astounding wrist flick of Captain Boomerang. I’m still transfixed by the trajectory of his throw. I’ve never thrown a boomerang (successfully), but being of Aussie descent, I can safely say, there is no person, living or dead, who could make a boomerang rotate around a person two times, let alone EIGHT. Call me pedantic…
Bishop: He’s THAT amazing
Actress: It must be the hat. And tights. And all that…. blue.
Bishop: Serves the Flash right for underestimating him. Flash can’t believe he’s getting his ass handed to him by Captain Boomerang. You can just see the “WTF!” expression on his face.
Actress: Well, what would he expect when his movie was so crap? They really need to fix that…
Bishop: I enjoy the emphasis on “must”. They’re very adamant about that.
Actress: I really think I must read ROAD TO OBLIVION now. I have no idea what it is, but the italics got me…
Bishop: Had it not been italicized, I might have skipped it.
Actress: And incur the wrath of Captain Boomerang? You’re game…
Bishop: *gulp* Not that game. I know better now.
Actress: Beware the blue boomerang…
Actress: Is that John Belushi?
Bishop: *gasp!* Belushi!
Actress: I don’t think Belushi ever wore white pants.
Bishop: No, this is clearly some sort of tropical Belushi.
Actress: This is like Belushi on holiday in Imperial Singapore.
Bishop: I think he faked his own death and hid out in the Hawaiin Islands after changing his name to Jose Angel.
Actress: His shoes are pretty sharp, apart from the socks… and the baby poo brown coloured shoes.
Bishop: Yeah, and he really wants you to know how sharp they are, he’s displaying them quite prominently.
Actress: He’s got a pretty flash digital watch, too. He must have been making a mint. I think this “career” is a cover for his decadent drug lord lifestyle.
Bishop: Ha ha! Yes, he’s clearly a cocaine-lord on par with Pablo Escabar. The clothes fit, after all.
Actress: I am taken with what is written at the bottom of the cover, “Madre Soy Christiano Homosexual”. Translated: “Mother I am Christiano Homosexual”. Maybe it wasn’t drugs he was enjoying…
Bishop: Hey, I didn’t need a translator to tell that “homosexual” is Spanish for “homosexual”
Bishop: Points for me! I’m so smart, aren’t I?
Actress: Oh, you are, baby. That’s why I love you. I think this album is his coming out letter to his mother…
Bishop: I think you’re right… and that’s deeply concerting for some reason.
Bishop: I believe he’s acknowledging that he’s a gay Christian. Hey, more power to him, but is this album really the best way to tell your mom?
Actress: It’s a little public, I’d have thought… but who am I to judge?
Bishop: I think a face-to-face would feel more honest than a collection of spicy latin dance grooves?
Actress: I want to see one of his music videos.
Bishop: It might be like a chubbier version of Gloria Estefan
Actress: Or maybe, this guy……..
Bishop: One of Roger’s facets isn’t a last name, sadly…
Actress: Or dress sense, so it seems…
Bishop: Or subtlety. Between the ham-fisted histrionics, and the outfit that has nearly blinded me, I’m already deducting Roger some major points.
Actress: I’m deducting points for his name, also. I mean, it’s one thing to have Roger as your given name, that’s all well and good… but it’s not very showbiz, is it? Think Roger Whittaker…
Bishop: Exactly. With that fashion sense, we can presume his music is deeply fonkay (yes, spelled “fonkay”). Therefore, why not go with Dr. Thumpalicious or Captain Interstellar-LoveMotherShip? That would be MUCH more appropriate than “Roger”
Actress: Indeed. But then again, he is a moody guy. Who can know what really goes on in the mind of Roger?
Bishop: Maybe he has multiple personality disorder. I wonder which one is the REAL Roger?
Actress: That’s exactly what I’m getting at. I’m guessing it’s the bottom, middle shot. I think that photo is the key to his very soul. Roger is but a sad clown. Just hazarding a guess, but correct me if you think I’m wrong…
Bishop: No, that’s what I imagine, as well. Roger has a deep soul and you can tell by that contemplative picture. “I think that I shall never see a poem funky as a tree…”
Actress: Hah! I think the other clue is the photo at bottom left. He’s trying to point the world toward his pain…
Bishop: Yes, as if to say “The real me is right over here. Have a look, won’t you?”
Bishop: Either that or he’s encouraging someone to pull his finger, in which case, I’m way off…
Actress: Well, there’s always that, too, but I think we’ve found the key to Roger’s soul. I applaud us for our perceptiveness and sensitivity to Roger’s plight. If we could just work out exactly what that plight is…
Bishop: He’s feeling sorrow because his clothes are SO shiny they blind unsuspecting passers-by, turning him into a social pariah. Much like Quasimodo, no one can look upon Roger. I mean that literally. They CAN’T look at him. He’s reflecting the sun’s rays.
Actress: Somebody needs to tell him. Do you think we can find his address? I feel a social duty to save him from his sequinned segregation…
Bishop: We might have a hard time tracking him down. Only knowing his first name isn’t helping. I imagine Googling “Roger” returns thousands of hits.
Bishop: A small problem I have with the album’s title: The use of the word “many” is a bit much. I count six. That’s “a few” at best.
Actress: Well, it could be “Several Facets of Roger”, at best…
Bishop: Maybe he doesn’t want to give ALL his facets away right off the bat.
Bishop: At the end of the day, it’s good Rog has a sense of humor. Look at that last picture (the one in the bottom, right-hand side). “Don’t go there, girlfriend!” See, it’s not all gloom and introspection!
Actress: Several facets, indeed. I don’t think any number of expressions will ever convey the complexity that is ROGER….