Tag Archives: 80’s

Plastique Fantastique vol. XVIII

cerrone.jpg

 

Actress: I can make no sense of this. Supernature of…. what? Bad Halloween masks?
Bishop: I have no idea what I’m looking at, except to say that if they’re trying to give me nightmares, they’re doing a great job.
Actress: Is the guy grabbing Cerrone’s foot sucking on a dummy… er, pacifier?
Bishop: I… don’t… know. I think the guys on the floor are Slipknot. Correct me if I’m mistaken.
Actress: A poor man’s Slipknot, if that is possible. IS his name Cerrone? You know, that rings a bell. I think I’ve heard of that guy. However, it could be recognition via my vast collection of bad album covers. I suspect he is a serial offender…
Bishop: If we’ve seen this guy before, then he owes us TWO apologies… I’m officially pissed at Cerrone.
Actress: I’m still trying to work out exactly what he is doing. He looks like he is trying to stand up off a table with what on it? That thing looks like something straight of my Year 9 science class.
Bishop: What’s it doing there? Why are the guys under the table attacking him? Maybe these are the doctors, and he’s just got really shit health coverage.
Bishop: If you need a checkup and the guys helping you are mental patients with rubber animal face masks, look out.
Actress: They’re doing a pathetic job of it. They don’t look remotely scary to me. Just idiots in stupid masks. Call me a cynic.
Bishop: Just like Slipknot. I think I’m onto something.
Actress: Hah! Indeed. I’m still puzzled by the guy on the left, however…
Bishop: He’s going in for the tackle. It’s a pig-doctor about to knock over a Latino musician… What’s not to understand?
Actress: I suspect Cerrone may be caught. He looks distracted. Disturbingly like he’s about to sit down on the lavatory, in fact…
Bishop: This cover is making my eyes bleed… I need a doctor. But not an evil pig-doctor. No wolf-rabbit-doctors, either.
Actress: Maybe if I dressed up in a sexy nurse’s outfit, I could ease your pain, my love?
Bishop: That would do the trick.

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Enfants Terribles vol. II

megaforce

Bishop: Megaforce is about deeds not words.
Actress: Deeds, as in pointing like and wearing a headband like an 80’s tragic? Because I think that gets you lightning as well as the vehicular aura…
Bishop: Yes. It was all about that 80’s headband. I think this guy was the lead singer for Loverboy
Actress: Hey, don’t diss Loverboy.
Bishop: This guy looks like Chuck Norris decided to impersonate Darth Vader and Olivia Newton John at the same time.
Actress: If you have one of those nifty electronic chest pads, you too can have motorbikes, cars, and helicopters shooting out of your body at all angles.
Bishop: I have no idea what that chest pad does… I’ll assume it controls said motorbikes, cars and helicopters?
Actress: I want one.
Bishop: I want you to have one too, baby, but you might not be man enough. Megaforce is NOT an equal opportunity employer. They’re very bigoted in their hiring methods.
Actress: I’m not manly enough. I’m angry now. I’m going to put on my legwarmers and challenge him to a duel.
Actress: *sings* “Turn me LOOSE, turn me LOOSE, I gotta do it MY WAYYYY.. or NO WAY AT ALLLLLLLLL.. YEAHHAHAHHHHH”… Now I’ve got him. It’s a karaoke duel.
Bishop: *applauds*
Actress: Is he naked? I think he’s naked, but they were a bit coy about the boy bits…
Bishop: That could be.
Actress: Oh, he’s wearing a jumpsuit, I take that back. A VERY fitting jumpsuit.
Bishop: This ad is too ambiguous… Megaforce was a horrible 80’s action movie and this ad is to encourage children to join the fanclub. A cursory glance at the picture brings all kinds of questions to mind.
Actress: It is quite enticing though, you have to admit. For only ONE DOLLAR, you get the patch, an official membership card, and some reflective decal. I’m in.
Bishop: Everything cost a dollar at one point… That’s also the price you had to pay for the 7 foot tall dancing monster ghost doohicky thingamajig.
Actress: I think we should publish a book of all the brilliant deals you can get through mail order/fanclubs. We’ll make a mint. Maybe even more than a dollar!
Bishop: Great idea! The irony is that the book costs $19.99
Actress: That’s a very manly price…
Bishop: I just hope I’m man enough for Megaforce.

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