Ad Nauseam vol. III

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Bishop: Honey, we just ran out of 7 foot tall dancing monster ghosts. Do you know where we can pick up another 7 foot tall dancing monster ghost for only a buck or so? Wait! What have we here?!
Actress: And for only 35c postage and handling! He’s a bargain at half the price. Can we, baby? Can we, please??
Bishop: Yes, we can! Best of all, he obeys our commands. Don’t you hate it when you buy a 7 foot tall dancing monster ghost and he thinks he knows everything and gets all lippy? I want one that doesn’t sass back when I command it.
Actress: Yes! I can even do my monster-mash-wiggly-hand dance and he won’t laugh at me. Oh, it’s all I’ve ever wanted, honey…
Bishop: We’ll all dance together! Oh, it’ll be so great. I mean, when it says he obeys your commands, I’m guessing you can make him get up and get you a sandwich and stuff, right? He’d almost be like a butler.
Actress: Oh, I’m so excited. He’d be like a Super Monster-Ghost Butler, jumping, darting and rising all over the place. There’d better not be too much floating, though. He has to earn his keep, for all we paid for him..
Bishop: That’s a good point. He’s got to get to it… I’d hate think we wasted that buck.
Actress: Me too. At least we’d have Mr Peeping Skeleton Hands as a back up…
Actress: He sounds a bit dirty…
Bishop: Yeah, I don’t like the fact that he’s a peeper. That should creep anyone out.
Actress: Crawling up your shirt, and all… I don’t think I like him. Can we get a glow-in-the-dark skull money box instead?
Bishop: True. He sounds less than “truly amazing”. As for the glow-in-the-dark skull money box, we’ll have to see if the fine people at Melton Co. can make an exception. They’re reputable, right?
Actress: Yes, of course they are. All we have to do is write to them, and send a stamped, self-addressed envelope… I’m sure they’ll come through. I have faith. Call me optimistic.
Bishop: With 7 foot tall dancing monster ghost on our side, we can’t lose.

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6 Comments

Filed under Ad Nauseam

6 responses to “Ad Nauseam vol. III

  1. oh, can i get one too!? just in time for halloween?

  2. I used to LOVE these comic book ads! You should check out this nice post about Sea Monkeys:

    http://awriterinthedesert.wordpress.com/2007/10/03/sea-monkey-dreams/

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  4. dogslol – Yes! What perfect timing. 🙂 Beware, however… considering it’s ridiculously low price, I wouldn’t expect a product quality enough to withstand a TP’ing by the neighbor kids.

    moonbeam – Sea monkeys are fantastic. The funniest thing about them is the ENORMOUS discrepancy between the actual sea monkey and the sea monkeys as pictured. Those ads are the greatest examples of false advertising ever created.

    Ever.

    – The Bishop

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  6. I have this ghost mint in the original package.

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